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Art of Noise - In Visible Silence

This album is courtesy of one the sketchiest record establishments in San Francisco. Not sketchy in the “I better watch my ass so it don’t get shot” sense. More like the “If I happen to be in this building during an earthquake they’ll collect my body with a ShamWOW” kind of sketchy. It’s a catacomb-like basement packed full of records, a ground floor stacked ceiling-high with vintage amps, turntables, and speakers, and no way out. Music 101 is claustrophobia to the max but it does have a certain charm–if you’re ever in North Beach check it out. Just make it a real quick in and out affair.

Moving on.

Most people know the theme song to Peter Gunn without really knowing what Peter Gunn is. Take this next clip for example.

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So you say, “Oh yeah, I heard that one before. That’s the, uh, Blues Brothers song right there, no doubt about it–great flick. Real sad about Belushi, real sad. I wonder what Dan Akroyd’s up to these days.

“Ghostbusters, now that was a great flick. Got it on VHS somewheres in the basement.

“Or was it the attic? I gotta go through that stuff soon. It’s probably packed away with the old softball trophies. ”

Nope, it’s not the Blues Brothers song. It’s the theme to Peter Gunn, a TV show about a private eye that ran 114 episodes from 1958 to 1961 on NBC and ABC. But that’s not really important because the show is mostly forgettable–with the only exception being its theme song. A theme song that is freakin’ awesome.

My first encounter with the Peter Gunn theme came during a family road trip sometime during the 80’s, back when even the tiniest motels had arcades to keep kids occupied while adults gave each other hand jobs in the hot tub.

The game was Spy Hunter. I don’t remember this because of the action-packed game play but because I distinctly remember the Peter Gunn theme song whacking me about the ears like some sort of fuzzy analog flyswatter.

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At around roughly the same time that kids were wasting their trickle-down quarters on 8-bit adventures like Spy Hunter the musical group Art of Noise was experimenting with a Fairlight CMI to find new ways to make old sounds sound, well, new. (I highly recommend you check out more about the Fairlight CMI here and here.)

Their pairing of primitive digital musical manipulation with quirky rhythm and a good sense of humor produced the following take on the Peter Gunn theme. The track starts at 1:33 if you’re feelin’ antsy.

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The rest of this album is pretty much the soundtrack to the every day life of Max Headroom.

Max Headroom doing dishes, Max Headroom looking for affordable health insurance, Max Headroom picking up cubic dog poop from his cubic collie with only a small layer of a cubic plastic bag between his cubic hand and processed slaughterhouse cube scraps.

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Click here to download In Visible Silence

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TRACKLIST

A1  Opus 4 1:59
A2  Paranoimia 4:46
A3  Eye Of A Needle 4:25
A4  Legs 4:06
A5  Slip Of A Tongue 1:30
A6  Backbeat 4:12
B1  Instruments Of Darkness 7:12
B2  Peter Gunn 3:55
B3  Camilla 7:23
B4  Chameleon’s Dish 4:17
B5  Beatback 1:19

Earth Girls Are Easy Soundtrack

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IMBb has a pretty good take on Earth Girls Are Easy.

A spaceship with three furry aliens lands in a California girl’s swimming pool, so she makes friends with them.

Well, yep, yeah that’s a pretty fair summation right there.

Observe intergalactic friendship in the following movie clip from YouTube’s premier film critic “Feet4Pothead”. Also observe Geena Davis’ hot 80’s bod.

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Click here to download the Soundtrack LP on MP3

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Tracklist

A1 Daryl Hall & John Oates Love Train 3:45
A2 Royalty
Baby Gonna Shake 4:24
A3 Information Society – Hit Me 5:08
A4 Jill Jones
The Ground You Walk On 4:15
A5 The N
Earth Girls Are Easy 3:43
B1 The B-52’s
Cosmic Thing 3:51
B2 Depeche Mode
Route 66 (The Nile Rodgers Mix) 4:09
B3 The Jesus And Mary Chain
Who Do You Love 4:04
B4 Stewart Copeland
Throb 2:09
B5 Julie Brown – Brand New Girl 3:42
B6 Julie Brown – ‘Cause I’m A Blonde 2:15

If you haven’t noticed I’ve become extremely lazy with this site lately.  The picture at the top of this post is a prime of example of this laziness. Note the off-center cropping, the fuzzy script and the general air of shit.

You see, it was too much of a chore to break the chemical bond between my ass and the couch to fetch a camera from the coffee table. So I searched Google images for a good 10 minutes looking for the highest quality image of this promo’s label. What you see, in all its glory, is the end result.

I could have spent five minutes taking a new photo, cropping, color treating, making it place first at the pony show.

But it just wasn’t worth the use of my lower limbs. Who knows, that exercise in energy conservation may the bit that keeps me strong during a zombie attack.

Hopefully the fact that this one’s in FLAC and fairly rare will make up for my slug-like webmastering.

FUN FACT: The Museum of Modern Art, or MoMA, exhibited the video for “Once In a Lifetime”. MoMA also has a Technics SL-10 turntable in their permanent collection, which was the same model that was used to record this FLAC. Coincidence? Hardly.

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Click here to Download

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Tracklist

A1 Once In A Lifetime 4:20
A2 Born Under Punches (The Heat Goes On) 5:45
B1 Houses In Motion 4:27
B2 Once In A Lifetime (Edit) 3:33

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Click here to peep a random Rebuilt Tranny album

download below

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10 Reasons Bruce Willis May Be a Spy

1. He was “born” in Idar-Oberstein, Western Germany to a German woman and an American soldier in 1955.

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It seems like a quaint enough village…perhaps even the perfect setting for a storybook begining. But look closely up at the hill. That’s the Felsenkirche, or “Crag Church”, tucked up there. It’s rumored to be the home of Nazi spy training during The War and to KGB training shortly there after, which continued on through the Cold War and until the fall of the Berlin Wall.

It’s also rumored that Willis’ mother worked as a nurse at the Felsenkirche. A real sexy nurse.

2. At Penns Grove High School he suffered from a stutter. Because of this his classmates called him “Buck Buck”.

Stuttering, speech impediments, and general psychological ticks are, of course, closely related to those working in the field of international sabotage.

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3. After High School he worked as a security guard at the Salem Nuclear Power Plant

According to the New York Times the Salem Nuclear Plant experienced several problems in the early 90’s, including a leaky generator, unreliable controls on a reactor, and workers who feared that reporting problems would lead to retaliation.

Accounts from one plant employee described how Willis told him, “You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his fucking neck. ”

It’s believed by industry insiders that Willis sabotaged the plant to express his rage with the poor public reception of his writing and starring role in Hudson Hawk.

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4. Seagram’s commissioned Willis as the spokesperson of their Golden Wine Coolers.

Nothing so undermines the American way of life than wine coolers. It’s wet…and it’s dry? Stop tearing our world apart with your communist mind games!

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5. In 1987 he played Bruno Radolini in the film The Return of Bruno

Witness how Willis, wearing a pair of genuine soul-sucking glasses, leads the audience toward the edge of The Cliffs of Harmonica…and shoves them over at the one-minute mark. This displays his intense training in manipulative crowd control. Into what pits of despair will he lead humanity?

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6. In 1987 he released the soundtrack for The Return of  Bruno.

In another display of his powerful mind control, Willis convinced Motown to release an album that included a cover of Stax Records recording artists The Staple Singers. Oh, the humanity!

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7. Subaru produced a limited run or Legacys in “Subaru Legacy Touring Bruce” trim.

The last time I checked Japan is on the other side of the ocean. That’s not America. What type of “favors” or “secrets” is Willis giving the Japanese government to receive such accolades. Japan is in DVD region 2, the good old USA is in region 1. They can”t even watch the Die Hard movies at home. The Japanese don’t love him sweet and long like we do. What is going on here?!?

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8. He strongly campaigned for Michael Dukakis for President in 1988.

This means Willis is a proponent of kidnapping, stabbing, and raping. None of these is part of the American dream.

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9. In 1996 he produced and voiced the children’s television show Bruno the Kid, which was about a boy who becomes a top spy for a secret espionage organization.

Ok, I probably should have mentioned this one first. Also, I’m pretty sure this was never actually a cartoon. And CGI Bruce Will is terrifying–terrifying in the scope of his plotting.

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10. The last name of the person that gave this to me as a birthday present is Lautzenheiser–the ultimate spy surname.

It’s all come full circle. The spy outing the spy on the international stage that is Rebuilt Tranny’s Rat Rod Record Exchange. Well played, Herr Lautzenheiser.

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A rare glimple of the master of disguise.

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Click here to embrace the Return of Bruno

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Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny album

*downloads below*

Getting onto Wikipedia always has the potential to lead down a dark hole into the mouth of madness.

Take a search for INXS. At first glance everything seems very hunky dory, if not a bit bland. Most of the page consists of paraphrasing from an INXS biography entitled: The Life and Times of Michael Hutchence and INXS. There are also slightly interesting tidbits about how they emerged from a pub-touring Australian band into one of the largest acts of the 80’s.

But if you’re daring enough to delve deeper into the page you’ll eventually get into the mysterious death of Michael Hutchence.

There’s not much about his death on the INXS page so you take a stroll on over to the Michael Hutchence page for further investigation.

Apparently there’s some dispute about how the dude actually died. The coroner’s report lists it as suicide due to depression mixed with a potent cocktail of narcotics and prescription medicine in a Ritz-Carlton Hotel.

But in an interview with the Australian 60 minutes program his former lover and mother of his child, British TV personality Paula Yates (who later died of a heroin overdose), said that it’s possible that Hutchence died of autoerotic asphyxiation.

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He was just looking for that New Sensation.

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Hey, what’s this autoerotic asphyxiation, your creepy brain asks. You click on the Wikipedia link.

Well, let’s see here…”Erotic asphyxiation or breath control play is the intentional restriction of oxygen to the brain for sexual arousal. ”

Ah, right right, that make senses…not.

Scrolling down through the page you’ll see that this has been the source of demise for some fairly well-known folks. You may recognize David Carradine on that list…who is better known to some as Bill from Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill.

Read through the list of other unlucky “gaspers” and you’ll see one with a particularly macabre description…

“Sada Abe killed her lover, Kichizo Ishida, through erotic asphyxiation in 1936, proceeding to cut off his penis and testicles and carry them around with her in her handbag for a number of days. The case caused a sensation in 1930s Japan and has remained one of the most famous Japanese murder cases of all time.”

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Shave and a haircuit, two bits.

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Ok, so you’re already in this far, might as well go ahead and click on Sada Abe.

Here’s a few gems that you’ll encounter on your journey through Sada Abe’s life.

Her father sent her to work in a brothel, then not an uncommon way to punish female sexual promiscuity in Japan, though he soon bought her back. Teruko’s past was not considered a hindrance to marriage for those of the Abes’ class at the time, and she soon married.

Yes, this seems completely logical. Completely.

Abe wound up a low-ranking geisha, in which her main duties were to provide sex. She worked for five years in this capacity, and eventually contracted syphilis. Since this meant she would be required to undergo regular examinations, like a legally licensed prostitute, Abe decided to enter that better-paying profession.

Again, logic reigns supreme. Spock would be proud. But it gets so much better.

Ishida and Abe returned to Ogu, where they remained until his death. During their love-making this time, Abe put the knife to the base of Ishida’s penis, and said she would make sure he would never play around with another woman. Ishida laughed at this. Two nights into this bout of sex, Abe began choking Ishida, and he told her to continue, saying that this increased his pleasure. She had him do it to her as well. On the evening of May 16, 1936, Abe used her obi sash to cut off Ishida’s breathing during orgasm, and they both enjoyed it. They repeated this for two more hours. Once Abe stopped the strangulation, Ishida’s face became distorted, and would not return to its normal appearance. Ishida took 30 tablets of a sedative called Calmotin to try to soothe his pain. According to Abe, as Ishida started to doze, he told her, “You’ll put the cord around my neck and squeeze it again while I’m sleeping, won’t you… If you start to strangle me, don’t stop, because it is so painful afterward.” Abe commented that she wondered if he had wanted her to kill him, but on reflection decided he must have been joking.

About 2 a.m. on the morning of May 18, 1936, as Ishida was asleep, Abe wrapped her sash twice around his neck and strangled him to death. She later told police, “After I had killed Ishida I felt totally at ease, as though a heavy burden had been lifted from my shoulders, and I felt a sense of clarity.” After lying with Ishida’s body for a few hours, she next severed his genitalia with the kitchen knife, wrapped them in a magazine cover, and kept them until her arrest three days later. With the blood she wrote Sada, Kichi Futari-kiri (“Sada, Kichi together”) on Ishida’s left thigh, and on a bed sheet. She then carved 定 (“Sada”, the character for her name) into his left arm. After putting on Ishida’s underwear, she left the inn at about 8 a.m., telling the staff not to disturb Ishida. When asked why she had severed Ishida’s genitalia, Abe replied, “Because I couldn’t take his head or body with me. I wanted to take the part of him that brought back to me the most vivid memories.

Some people collect magnets, other spoons…Sada Abe collects jewels.

The account goes on to feature those confederate members in some entirely horrific situations, which you’ll have to check out in this section of the Sada Abe page if you’re feeling particularly fiendish.

Finally, the kicker.

The first day of Abe’s trial was November 25, 1936, and by 5 a.m. crowds were already gathering to attend. The judge presiding over the trial admitted to being sexually aroused by some of the details involved in the case, yet made sure that the trial was held with the utmost seriousness.

When all was said and done she only served five years in prison. And we wonder why Japan is so goddamn weird.

If you take one more brave click you’ll find that Sada Abe case was a big influence of the Ero Guro Nansensu (erotic-grotesque-nonsense…or ero guro for short ) art movement in Japan.

So what is Ero Guro, you may ask? Well, it kind of looks like this….

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This is the only example I could find without sliced and diced privates. Homicidal, smash-skulled fetus skeletons are still PG-13, right?

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If you really want to know the depravity of this journey then click on this link. But don’t blame me for what you see…it was INXS and Wikipedia that brought us down that dark hole into the bloody mouth of madness.

And for those of you that love sweet tunes while keeping your mind out of the gutter, please enjoy the following download links. But please, remember to breathe.

Kick Part 1

Kick Part 2

Kick Part 3

And all sex, blood, & death aside…this is one of the best albums of the 80’s. Absolute pop bliss. Catchy catchy cool.