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Monthly Archives: October 2011

Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny post

*album download below*

I love Halloween but always wait until the last minute to figure out my costume. In the past few years I’ve been a piecemeal Walker Texas Ranger, an abridged version of The Dance Commander (twice), a shadowy representation your mom, and–when my locks flowed like the mighty Mississippi–a shoddy Andrew W.K.

This year the problem remains the same–what to be, what to be.

Maybe a Steve Jobs zombie? But then the decision becomes which Steve Jobs to reanimate.

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Uncle Steve Zombie?

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or is it….

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Evil Steve Zombie?

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or maybe even….

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Prep Hipster Steve Zombie, complete with Apple belt buckle-wearing Zombie Woz?

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I just can’t decide!

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>>>Click here to download Halloween Sound to Make You Shiver on MP3

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>>Also check out Disney’s take on Halloween Sound Effects here

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Tracklist

A A Night In A Haunted House 15:02
B1 Witch Laugh 0:27
B2 Count Dracula And His Victim 0:26
B3 Screams 0:24
B4 Screams & Groans 0:31
B5 Moans & Groans 0:45
B6 Cats 0:46
B7 Dogs 0:39
B8 Banging Shutter 0:59
B9 Phantom Piano 2:03
B10 Creaky Door 0:18
B11 Breaking Windows 0:01
B12 Thunder 1:53
B13 Wind 2:47
B14 Frankenstein’s Monster Breaks Loose 1:11
B15 Hooting Owl 0:21

The original conversion of this was, well, pretty shitty. It’s a great album so it’s been reconverted with the love and affection it deserves. Check it out here: http://rebuilttrannyrecords.com/2009/11/16/larry-wolff-the-streetbeaters-breakdance-1984/

Larry Wolff & The Streetbeaters Breakdance Breakdancing

Strawberry Shortcake Theme MP3 VInyl Download

Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny post

*download below*

Strawberry shortcake was created in 1977 by an illustrator for American Greetings, as in the greetings card people who also brought you Care Bears. During the following five years the Strawberry Shortcake marketing machine pumped out dozens of characters to populate a truly fruity world full of sweet adventures.

These include lovable dreamies like Plum Puddin’, T. N. Honey, Cherry Cuddler, Café Olé, Lucky Bug, Flitter-Bit, Philbert Wormly III, and the putrescent Peculiar Purple Pieman.

Most characters were packed to the brim with sugar, spice, and a pun that was quite nice. However there was one character whose story is truly tragic. Se llamo es Baby Needs-A-Name.

Let’s meet her, shall we?

Hey wait a minute, that's not Baby Needs-A-Name! That's just Hector being a crybaby. Stop scaring away my readers, you big crybaby!

Well who is this masked baby? Why, it's the Phantom Pooper, making stink you wouldn't believe. But you better believe it, brother, because it's here to stay!

Whoa there, Don, this is a family establishment! Put some clothes on and help us find Baby Needs-A-Name!

Geeze Louise, Vaibhav, right out in the open? Finish up and help us find Baby Needs-A-Name!

You too Trish! And while I don't agree with your religious beliefs I respect your right to worship how you see fit, ya big wethead!

You aren't even a real baby, Reborn Rhonda! Just the extremely lifelike representation, or rather idealized fantastication, of some lonely woman! Get a life!

Baby Leroy, are you ok? Baby Leroy? BABY LEROY? Don't worry, we'll come back and check once we find Baby Needs-A-Name. I promise!

Gosh, Tigerbaby, you sure are cute! But I have to find Baby Needs-A-Name, stop distracting me with your vacant eyes!

Hey Baby, aka Birdman, aka Ronald "Slim" Williams, what in the heck are you doing here?! Nevermind, I'm sorry, stay as long as you'd like. Hey, you haven't seen Baby Needs-A-Name have you? Sorry, right, I know...stupid question.

Jesus, Baby Jessica? Wasn't that like 20 years ago or something. This is getting ridiculous. Where in the Sam Hill is Baby Needs-A-Name???

Oh, God, it's...it's ManBaby Steve from the Costco bulk candy department. I, oh God, yeah I threw up a little. Yep, definitely some corn on my uvula. I don't want to look for Baby Needs-A-Name anymore. Thanks Steve. No, I most certainly don't want to play. Yes, I know what you mean by "play." Please go kill yourself.

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Click here to download the strangly hypnotic Strawberry Shortcake LP

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Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny post

Here’s a few fun facts about Mick Jagger:

1) Mick Jagger and David Bowie may or may not have boned. I think all the real proof you need is in the following video.

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2) Mick’s on-stage moves and grooves are thanks in part to the fact that he’s triple jointed. This is an extremely rare condition that affects only .0001% of the population and 95% of Mick Jagger. His knees go this way, that way, and that way…and his pinkies do all sorts of gross, inappropriate things.

Even more remarkable is the fact that his penis has the mobility of an African elephant’s trunk while maintaining an erection that registers a 10 on the Mohs hardness scale.

And it can grab things. Like this following reenactment of a lazy night on the Rolling Stones tour bus.

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3) The Falklands War in 1982 between Argentina and Britain wasn’t a dispute over land claims. Rather, it was Argentina’s response to the Rolling Stones’ blockade of Tattoo You LPs from reaching Argentinian shores. For some reason Mick firmly believed, and still believes, that Argentinians are “a bunch of silly wankers,” and refused to offer them his sweet licks.

The reason for this position is somewhat unclear, but many rock historians site the strong possibility that the stupid half-albino-mustachioed lead singer of Argentinian rock group Serú Girán may have had something to do with it.

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4) In 1977, shortly after creating a space-age lubricant for the Space Shuttle at Edwards Air Force Base, engineers Daniel Wray and Erich Drafahl started work on an even more advanced lubricating substance. It was commissioned by Mick himself for use after his upcoming shows, which would eventually become the album Love You Live.

In past tours, during numerous post-concert lovemaking sessions with girls of questionable moral fiber and age, Mick encountered a serious problem. At the peak of sexual intensity the object of his amorous intent would, time after time, burst into a magnificent shower of fire and fleshy embers. It’s believed that Mick’s elephantine member was simply hitting too many hot spots of the female anatomy. Maybe one day women will evolve to withstand such murderous pleasures. One day.

So, in response, Mick put Daniel Wray and Erich Drafahl hot on the case of solving the dilemma of catastrophic hot crotch. Through these two engineers’ trials and many errors we now enjoy the fruits of Astroglide, which can be found at your friendly neighborhood smut shop.

I must emphasize errors in Mr. Wray’s and Drafahl’s efforts. One clinical trial with an early formula of the lube proved too slippery for even Mick’s willy. Latest reports sighted the unlucky test subject sliding his way through the San Francisco Pass in a stretch of the Andes between Chile and Argentina.

Where he, and his ice rink coin sack, will slide on into next is anyone’s guess.

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San Francisco Pass: Terrain not friendly to the old brain pouch.

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5) Not everyone can have moves like Mick Jagger.

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Click here to download the vinyl conversion of Tattoo You

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