Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: September 2011

Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny post.

*download at the bottom of this post*

This is the first album that’s been uploaded from the monster stack of abandoned LPs I found on the corner of Silver & Alemany in EXCELSIOR, SF, CA. I have a strong suspicion that this disc, along with the hundreds of other derelict bargain discount albums, belonged to the recently deceased owner of Force of Habit Records.

Now, I can’t be for certain on this since my investigation into the last place of residence for “Braindead” Devereaux, which should have correlated with the location of my find, was pitifully fruitless at best. I just feel that anyone throwing out so many records with $1 Force of Habit stickers probably let them go them in a hurry…if you catch my drift.

So, if these were indeed your unsold and unwanted discs I thank you, sir. I will try to give this unsellable record something of a 21 gun salute in your honor.

***

So, here’s a short explanation of what this album is for those unfamiliar. Mike + The Mechanics was a spinoff from the band Genesis, who had a few solid hits during the Reagan administration. Their music has little meaning to those born before 1990, but those of us lucky enough to remember Small Wonder will definitely have a piece of memory tied to Mike’s tunes. That’s about it, how’s that for a short explanation.

Here are two hits from this self-titled album. They’re truly a must have for any 80’s lover.

*

CAUTION: EPIC VIDEO BELOW

*

Of course, there were other spinoffs from Genesis during the 80’s and beyond. Here’s the top five spawn of Genesis, because everyone loves a list of winners.

5) Phil Collins

Phil’s probably the most highly recognized member of Genesis for the casual listener. His hits, such as “In The Air Tonight,” have been featured prominently in recent films like The Hangover. He also has an abnormally tiny bald head, not unlike that of an aging koala, which tends to brand itself within a person’s psyche.

4) Peter Gabriel

This founding member of Genesis found success with the help of John Cusack’s beautiful but not quite young, not quite old, not quite white, not quite Japanese, not quite human, not quite animatronic face. Peter also thrust ridiculous sexual innuendos into the supple, swollen folds of a claymation vessel that red-rocketed straight to the top of the charts in “Sledgehammer.”

3) The Binding and Attempted Murder of Isaac

God and Abraham were real good buds. Well, buds isn’t really accurate. Abraham was kind of God’s little bitch. One day God said, “Hey man, you know what, kill that boy of yours if you’re really mah dawg.” Abraham didn’t really want to, but he didn’t want to be a little bitch either. So, he prepared to do God’s bidding…for God is good.

At least he tried to. After tying up his son and preparing to do a bit of the ol’ stabby stabby an angel flew down and said, “Jesus, Abraham, that old fuck’s really got you whipped, LOL!” And lo, Abraham was punk’d.

Anyway, the angel told Abraham to slow his roll and let Isaac go–God was only playin’. And then Abraham killed some ram to appease God. This made God happy, because Abraham’s god was a fucking weirdo.

Amen.

Glory! Blessed be His word!

Hallelujah!

2) The next Justice album.

Well, it’s either going to kick ass or I’ve just jinxed everything. Either way my dick is in a vice: let’s just hope it’s the vibrating sort.

1) The soundtrack for Pebble Beach Golf on Sega Genesis

This is the only music I’m requesting for my funeral. With these clean, innocent, yet sophisticated MIDI melodies my soul will soar the highest reaches of the Celestial Kingdom. No need for cremation or burial–with this divine electronic symphony my mortal husk will explode into 10,000 butterflies that will travel south on Carlos Slim’s private jet stream…

…only to be squashed by some spoiled 7-year-old kid wearing Crocs on spring break in Puerto Vallarta.

*

Click here to download a 320 kbps rip of Mike + The Mechanics

*

m83-hurry-up-dreaming

Part 3 USA Dub Remix

*

This video features “The Look of Love (Part 1)”. Part 3 from Side B of this single is a very slight variation on this theme. The USA Dub Remix on Side B is totally weird. Enjoy.

*

Click here to download the MP3 conversion from the 12″

*

A The Look Of Love (USA Remix – Dub Version) 7:37
B The Look Of Love (Part 3 – Dance Version) 4:17

*

Click here for a random Rebuilt Tranny post

*

At the end of O Brother, Where Art Thou? the beloved protagonists are faced with quite a dilemma: let the lawman get to hangin’ or take a quick bum rush for a hopefully painless suicide-by-cop. You never expect what’s coming.

*

*

You’re goddamn right, a flood right out of nowhere! Not the kind that ruins cities and drowns old women but the kind that rescues a lovable group of good-natured convicts from certain death! It’s also the kind of flood that was built right here in America by God-fearing Americans. Yep, that’s right…this flood was brought to you by the electric hands of the Tennessee Valley Authority.

*

*

Let me step back here for a minute. You see, back during the 30’s when this movie takes place we in America had this thing called a Depression. That means nobody had  good-paying job with which to raise a family. Many men, like Ulysses, Delmar, and Pete, turned to crime just to make ends meet. And then there were those who joined government-sponsored work programs like the Civilian Conservation Corps, Works Progress Administration, and Tennessee Valley Authority–or TVA for short.

*

*

The role of the TVA was to develop the rural areas of Tennessee, Kentucky, Alabama, North Carolina, West Virginia, Mississippi, and Georgia. This was a good thing for most of men from this area, as they were either flat broke or skimming by on profits from a measly moonshine operation. Of course, this is a blatantly stereotypical generalization of a proud and diverse people. However, it is also true.

*

Moonshine still in Knox County, Tennessee. Photographed by TVA in 1936 as part of its Fort Loudoun Dam surveys. See, I told you so.

*

In any case, almost all of the hydroelectric dams that are still operating in the area were built or planned during the period of the late 30’s by the TVA. This construction program, which was government-funded, was a big reason that thousands Appalachian people didn’t starve during those trying times. It also still powers the Daytona 500 into the living rooms and outhouses of millions of hillbillies.

*

Boy, oh boy, it's a boy.

*

Today Americans are faced with a similar situation of those folks in the Great Depression. We have millions of able-bodied men and women who are receiving unemployment support from the federal and state governments. Without this help many would be forced out onto the streets, where they very well might end up like Ulysses, Delmar, and Pete–hunting for a hidden treasure that simply doesn’t exist.

But the big difference today is that these men and women on unemployment aren’t expected to offer anything in return. They don’t build dams, don’t blaze concrete trails through inhospitable lands, and last time I went camping I didn’t see anybody planting trees.

I’m all for helping people get on their feet during times of need. It’s an American responsibility to take care of other tax-paying, anthem singing ‘Mericans. But I also feel that the folks on unemployment should give something back to the community that’s paying their mortgage.

*

*

So down what avenues of the public sector can we send these brave men and women. Let’s not set them to building environmentally harmful hydroelectric dams. It seems there are plenty of roads already built throughout this Great Nation, many of which I haven’t even driven on. And last time I went camping it seemed there were just about the amount of trees, give or take.

Here’s what I propose: enlist these fine people as a sort of police for modern social tact. We’ll call them the Silicone Valley Authority, simply because it works for the intents and purposes of this blog. Here’s a list of the SVA’s 10 most pressing duties.

Duty 1) Patrol vigilantly for people listening to standup comedy on their iPod. Arrest at sight.

Seriously, I hate the way you laugh.

Duty 2) Prevent everyone from posting cool videos on Facebook before I do.

At least give me a chance, jerk.

Duty 3) Discourage, violently, all German tourists from flaunting their good times on our weak American dollar.

Hey Hans, those glasses don’t look smart at all.

4) Commandeer and destroy any iPad that is operated by a user who is in motion under his or her own power.

If you don’t get off the sidewalk I will smack that thing right out of your hand.

5) Ban Twitter

I’m not going to lie, I still don’t get it.

6) Execute a successful viral marketing campaign to make old flip phones cool again.

My cell is so vintage.

7) End self-satisfying, rambling blog posts that have absolutely nothing to do with the post’s original subject matter.

Fine, be that way.

*

Click here to download the 10-year anniversary clear vinyl-to-MP3

*