Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: March 2010

Joanna Newsom Sexy long Hair Legs Black and White vinyl HD Harp Eyes

Ok, so I installed Windows 7 and it’s been a mess getting all of my previous settings back in order for record ripping. I think it’s all sorted out but if you encounter any problems please let me know so that I can get the fixed ASAP.

One curious thing I did notice about this disc is how off-center the hole is on the record. This caused the needle to sway back and forth like an Alaskan crab fishing vessel while the record spun, which was quite a sight to see. Luckily, my Technics SL-10 is a zero tracking error champion so it didn’t affect the playback. However, I wonder how it would fare on a more rudimentary turntable.

Despite this I recommend picking up a hard copy from Drag City at this link. Just make sure you have your tonearm set up right.

But while you wait for your box set to arrive via Karl “The Mailman” Malone check out disc two of Have One On Me.


Joanna Newsom - Have One On Me

Download

My laptop crashed so I’m attempting the near impossible: posting this through my Wii. It’s giving me motion sickness. I’ll be attending Joanna’s Cincy tour stop at Memorial Hall on the 30th so check back for a review and the next two discs of “Have One On Me”.

Joanna Newsom Sexy long Hair Legs Black and White vinyl HD Harp Eyes

grimly fiendish LP rar zip mediafire

*album download below*

Phantasmagoria has curiously been out of print in North America for some years now. However, I was fortunate enough to pick up this copy from an area radio station that liquidated their vinyl cellar. Suckers. I didn’t know what it was at the time but the name sounded slick enough, so, I added it to my stack. Thank my Capricorn stars for my dumb luck because this album is devilishly delicious.

Some musicados recognize Phantasmagoria as the ruling High Court in the Confederate States of Goth. Others tattoo it with a regretful London Classic Punk tramp stamp. Then there are a few who will whisper rumors of it being a dark wave bastard child.

I couldn’t give a raven’s ass what musiclique it falls into.

I just know that this album’s spent countless hours spinning at 33 1/3 rpm in close proximity to my person. The effects of such ghastly activities were disturbing. Prolonged rotation caused the disc to emit an unknown form of radiation, which greyed my locks in similar fashion to lead singer David Vanian’s.

At first I thought it looked crack dandy. Hot Topic gift cards started arriving in the mail from a secret admirer, which only sweetened the honey pot. But my cat kept hissing relentlessly and scratching my eyelids while I slept so the funky folicles had to go. Luckily, Blanks Pharmacy sells knockoff hair dye called “Just For Tuff Dudes” on the cheap.

Don’t miss out in this one, you ghouls.

Click here to download Phantasmagoria

*download album below*

After the Space Jazz post I figured everyone needed an antidote for music poisoning. So, feast upon the awesome glory of Bach’s genius spewed forth from a massive collection of pipes. And don’t go thinking, “Organs are only for church. I hate church. How am I supposed to get drunk on that little thimble of wine. God, this is retarded.” Just don’t because you’re wrong and that’s final.

E. Power Biggs, yes that is his real name, and his Flentrop Organ will make you weep with joy and blow your face off–at the same time.

Side Note: If you’re a Cincinnati local you have to check out the symphonic concert organ series at Cincinnati Museum Center at Union Terminal. There are almost 4,000 organ pipes hidden within the old ticket booths in the big domed rotunda. Why does it need so many pipes? Well, the 1929 E.M. Skinner Symphonic Concert Organ, which is wheeled into the center of the dome, is able to reproduce the sounds present in a full orchestra. Brass, strings, woodwinds, double woodwinds, superbrass, sonic booms…they’re all present. So basically one guy has complete control over an entire symphony and it’s really quite absurd. Plus when the organist hits the low notes the windows at the front of the dome rattle like hell. It’s like a baby earthquake. You can find more info and a schedule here.

Click here to download Bach Organ Favorites <<<FIXED ZIP FILE 5/11/11

 You’ll probably recognize this video as the theme from The Phantom of the Opera. Just put that stupid mask out of your head and absorb this song’s demonic splendor. It goes up, down, around and even a little bit inside. Listening to it’s exhausting…imagining the difficulty of playing the damn thing’s truly mindblowing. Don’t even get me started on analyzing the mind that produced it. Jesus. Jesus? Jesus$

Update: The following features a different recording of Toccata and Fugue in D Minor (the one off the album is about 2 billion times better) but this does a good job of visualizing the ridiculous fingerwork/fancyfootwerk involved in the piece. Enjoy.

Oh yeah, and this.

 Flentrop Organ Specifications

HOOFDWERK (Hauptwerk)

Prestant – 8′

Roerfluit – 8′

Octaaf – 4′

Speelfluit – 4′

Nasard – 2-2/3′

Vlakfluit – 2′

Terts – 1-3/5′

Mixtuur – IV Rks

RUGPOSITIEF (Positiv)

Holpijp – 8′

Prestant – 4′

Roerfluit – 4′

Gemshoorn – 2′

Quint – 1-1/3′

Mixtuur – II Rks

Kromhoorn – 8′

BORSTWERK (Brustwerk)

Zingend

Gedekt – 8′

Koppelfluit – 4′

Prestant – 2′

Sifflet – 1′

Cymbel – 1 Rk

PEDAAL (Pedal)

Bourdon – 16′

Prestant – 8′

Gedekt – 8′

Fluit – 4′

Mixtuur – III Rks

Fagot – 16′

Trompet – 8′

*download album below*

Ok, so this is the most important piece music of the 20th century. Yes, you read that correctly. In 1982 L. Ron Hubbard introduced Space Jazz, the first ever soundtrack to a book (not just any book…Battlefield Earth!!!) and forever altered the creative path of human history. Many historians credit this album with slaying the incredible high-hat breathing Disco Dragon. Others blame it for laying the Yoshi egg that hatched Lady Gaga. However, there’s much more to this story than hilarious musings…

Exhibit A!

(from the album gatefold)

SPACE JAZZ is a completely new musical sound destined to be hailed as the music of the future. The many and varied forms of music are an integral part of the cultural heritage of Earth.

Now, the sound of the future has been established by L. RON HUBBARD, author of the blockbuster science fiction novel Battlefield Earth.

The concept of a soundtrack is something one normally associates with motion pictures. Now for the first time ever–a soundtrack for a book–Battlefield Earth–“Space Jazz.” Think of the “Star Wars” Sagas, and “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” mix in the triumph of “Rocky I,” “Rocky II” and Rocky III” and you have captured the exuberance, style and glory of “Battlefield Earth”–The Evening Sun, Baltimore MD.

Consider the magnitude of the challenge Hubbard set himself. Conventional musical instruments and even huge symphony orchestras have their limitations. He turned to the technology of the future–computers.

Recent breakthroughs in computer musical instruments offered the needed versatility to match his new musical concepts.

Today, a computer is able to reproduce any natural sound. It can record a single note of a musical instrument and from that reproduce the rest of the instrument.

But better yet, it can take any sound and turn this into a rhythm. A coyote can sing the blues. A horse can tap dance. Liquid can splash out a Strauss waltz. Laser beams can hum a lullaby. You name it and you can get it

Yes, L. Ron Hubbard took the most technologically advanced musical instrument of the time, the Fairlight Computer Musical Instrument, and used it to recreate the sonic feast of a horse tapdancing! Thank your stars L. Ron Hubbard was one of the first people to get his hands on the $25,000 Fairlight CMI and thus create this epic masterpiece. What follows is just a small sampling of L. Ron Hubbards musical pioneering.

Exhibit B!

Be sure to carefully absorb the rich tonal haunches in this track. The playful neighs of the heroic horse Windsplitter, created through the Fairlight CMI’s digital processor, stir feelings of hope within the listener that, yes, man, beast and machine can coexist peacefully in a world free of Psychlos.

Exhibit C!

L. Ron Hubbard used his Hubbard Electrometer to test if tomatoes felt emotional pain. Seriously, check out this UK Telegraph article.

Ok, so I took a long time to trying to figure out exactly what this album was all about. I looked for hidden answers about Scientology in the ridiculous anti-stereo narration. I then looked for some sort of psychic pattern in the horribly repetitive and shrill synthesized filler “music”. Finally, I sought solace in the suspiciously mundane track titles:

1. Golden Era of Sci Fi

2. Funeral For A Planet

3. March of The Psychlos

4. Teri, The Security Director

5. Jonnie

6. Windsplitter

7. The Mining Song

8. The Drone

9. Mankind Unites

10. Alien Visitors Attack

11. The Banker

12. Declaration of Peace

13. Earth, My Beautiful Home

But I didn’t experience even a single mysterious revelation from on high.

So I listened again. And again. And again. And upon my umpteenth listen, just as Space Jazz began evoke memories of my endless hours spent playing Oregon Trail 2, the answer blasted itself all over my face: L. Ron Hubbard was the greatest practical joker of all time.

His absurdly bogus biography, his hackneyed bibliography, his intensely whacko yet ridiculously profitable Scientology cult had all been part of the greatest monkeyshine ever unleashed on mankind. The man was a hybrid of Andy Kaufman’s unflinching, rabble-rousing comedy with  Joseph Smith’s pied-piper espièglerie–now that’s saying something.

The aural assault Space Jazz makes complete sense when you view L. Ron’s life in that light. You could even say this composition was the punchline to a lifetime of pocket-emptying tomfoolery.

So, Xenu bless you, L. Ron Hubbard…you hilarious fucking bastard.

Click to download SPACE JAZZ to the futuristic 320 kbps

.

.